Put your happy face on!

Because according to the New York Times, Latin Americans love President Bush!

It's obvious! Just look at the picture they have plastered all over their web site of him smiling and shaking some kind of Brazilian tambourine with a pair of enthusiastic natives! They LOVE him! You can't deny it!

Especially because the Times story tells endearing anecdotes like the one about the time Brazilian President Lula da Silva referred to the G-spot in a press conference, to the amusement of his people and the embarassment of ours! Hilarious!

But, oops, they forgot to mention the thousands of unhappy Latins who weren't interested in anything Bush was selling. In Mexico, in Brazil, in Guatemala, in fact all over the damn place South of the U.S. border there were organized and sometimes disorganized protests, ranging from peaceful to riotous. But that don't bother Shrub! No way! 'Cause he LOVES Latin America!

The one thing I didn't see anywhere in the past month was an article that asked the question, "Why are all these thousands of people so incredibly pissed off?"

Hmmmmm...

Here and there

I don't have much time today, but here are a few gems I just couldn't leave untouched:

Three cheers for Vermont, where 36 towns have voted to impeach Bush and Cheney for violating the Constitution.


The U.S. has come in third in a recent BBC poll of countries that have the most negative influence in the world. The first two are Israel and Iran, in that order. Good company, eh?


And lastly but most interestingly, South Korea is drawing up legislation to prevent humans from abusing robots. And vice versa.

Will Smith, eat your heart out.

Par-TAY!

I'm gonna get so fucked up tonight. They'll find me howling in the streets, yelling, "EAT THAT, YOU HALLIBURTON-LOVING MOTHERFUCKERS! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Libby was found guilty today, and the bitch is going to be grabbing his ankles in a federal penitentiary for years to come.

Hey Scooter. Watch out for your cornhole, buddy.

With a little help from my friends

There have been a couple of interesting turns lately in the fight over what to do about Iran. First of all, a new report by a British expert suggests that attacking Iran may actually motivate it to develop a handful of low-level nuclear weapons and then try and use them against us or our allies.

From the BBC:

In his report, Frank Barnaby argues that an attack might not destroy all of the nuclear programme. In its wake, it would be much more feasible for Tehran's political leadership to pull out of the Non-Proliferation Treaty and launch a crash programme, devoting maximum resources to developing one or two bombs as quickly as possible.

This, it is argued, means that a nuclear-armed Iran might end up occurring sooner rather than later as a result of military intervention.

You hear that, shit-for-brains? And guess what else? That analysis MAKES SENSE. It would be only logical for Ahmadinejad to try and boost whatever programs he thought would stop U.S. bombing raids, and if a counter attack or even the threat of a counter attack, especially a nuclear one, was feasible, of course he'd fucking do it!

But hopefully it won't come to that. My new hero, Senator Jim Webb, has introduced legislation that would prohibit funding for an attack on Iran without Congress's express approval. Good for him. The only problem with it is that he's a freshman legislator. Where the hell are all the veterans on this? Come on, Reid! What the fuck?

Since when has the president listened to Jim Webb, right? Definitely not since Webb said he wanted to kick the crap out of Shrub. And right now, all signs are pointing to war. Or at least airstrikes.

In any case, Shrub is still giving the go-ahead for us to build a bunch of new nukes. Yay. It's like the 80's again...

An inconvenient fuckup

Al, what the hell were you thinking? You've been around the block, man! Did you really think nobody was going to find out about your enormous electricity bill?

I know you're not Ghandi, but for chrissake, man, the conservatives are right on this one. You can't accept a goddamn Academy Award for a film that tells people to reduce their CO2 emissions and then run up a ridiculous utility bill like that. Your credibility just got shot, man. And Al, I love you, I loved the movie, and I hope you keep it up, but dammit, you have to change your lifestyle if you ever hope to get anyone else to follow suit.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.