REALLY happy feet

This one was too much for me. I haven't seen the movie, but apparently Jimmy Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, and a buddy of his named Michael Medved, a conservative columnist, have been telling everyone they can that the animated Penguin movie "Happy Feet" is pro-gay and contains all sorts of commentary on the homosexual political situation in America.

From Media Matters:

DOBSON: There is a movie that's out now, called Happy Feet. It's about penguins. It's obviously designed to pull children in and yet, you don't like it. I've read some of the things you've said about it. I haven't seen it and don't plan to see it but from what I've heard, I don't like it either. Explain why.

MEDVED: Because it's depressing and it's dark.

[...]

MEDVED: And then there's this whole subtext, as there so often is, about homosexuality. Not that the penguins are gay -- they're not gay -- but the one penguin hero doesn't fit in and the religious authorities -- the so-called religious right in the penguin world -- are very judgmental. They say, "You are not a penguin. You're not a real penguin." And then he makes this heartfelt plea, he says, "Dad, you have to accept me as I am. I can't change." And --

DOBSON: Are they getting at the idea that homosexuality is genetic? Is that what the subtle implication is?

MEDVED: Well, how many times do we hear that in the media? That it's not a matter of choice, it's not a matter of change, and my problem with that -- as I understand, that there are some people, who -- for whom that may be true, but they're other people -- and you and I know them -- who have changed their lives and have turned around their lives.

This reminds me of the Southern preacher who kept telling everyone to boycott the "Lion King" because it was Satanic.

Stupid bastards.

Anyway, I leave it to you, dear readers: is "Happy Feet" really just homo-leftist propaganda? Should all the copies be burned as heretical material? Or is it just another stupid Disney movie about penguins trying to capitalize on the success of a documentary called "March of the Penguins"?

A $468,900,000,000.00 cashier's check

That's the amount the U.S. Pentago is expecting for its 2008 fiscal budget. Yeah, that's right. $468 billion. As some of you may be aware already, that's more dough than our next twenty competitors combined spend. The next biggest spender is China, which the Department of Defense guessed in 2005 spent $90 billion. That figure, however, is just that- a guess. China claims the number is $30 billion. Still, 90 is a far cry from 468.

What kills me is pondering what could be done in the U.S. alone with just half, even a quarter, of that money. Instead of mass-producing weapons and bombs, we could bolster our economy, fund independent business loans, fix the educational system, end hunger, fund medical research, incentivize alternative energy, and more. Hell, the question isn't what we could do with $200 billion, the question is what couldn't we do.

Which begs the question, why the fuck do we allow our politicians to spend as much as they do on defense? Why don't we demand they alter their goddamn priorities?

It probably has something to do with the Pentagon's being obsessed with their "guns."

Et tu, Johnson?

Harry Reid visiting Tim Johnson in his hospital bedroom? Reminds me of that scene behind the waterfall in Last of the Mohicans when Daniel Day-Lewis throttles Madeline Stowe and yells, "You just stay alive! No matter what happens, no matter what occurs, you stay alive!"

Ha. Ha, ha. Hm. Poor guy. Shucks, all that rests on his shoulders is control of the senate. Not too big a deal, eh?

In fact, it's almost as funny as a video clip of American soldiers who've taught Iraqi kids to chant, "Fuck Iraq! Fuck Iraq!"

But not quite as funny as the about-face Shrub has pulled on gay parents. The fuckstick-in-chief just said the other day that he believes Mary Cheney, the lesbian daughter of his vice president, will be a "fine mom." Nice call, Georgie.

Obama's mama

No, not really. Actually this post is nothing more than a gratuitous snicker at Mick Jagger.

The story is a few days old, but when Obama visited New Hampshire earlier this week, Governor John Lynch had this gem to offer about the Illinois Senator: "We originally scheduled the Rolling Stones, but we canceled them when we figured out that Senator Obama would sell more tickets."

Oooooooh, sorry Mick, Keith. You guys just aren't as appealing as a POLITICIAN! Shit! That's gotta hurt.

Though it stings like the dickens, it's probably not going to go away any time soon. Obama's looking more and more like he's going to jump into the ring next year. In a recent interview with the Chicago Tribune, he called himself a "viable candidate" and said he would announce in January whether or not he'll run for president. My money's on yes.

News flash!

Somehow, the AP has discovered that the universal appeal of the Hooters restaurant chain isn't its tasty wings. Rather, they find, it's the tits! Surprise, surprise!

Could the AP possibly be spending its time on anything less worthwhile? Perhaps an investigation into why my ass itches so much?

The most retarded part of this story is that it's been picked up by no less than 83 times. Re-tard-ed.

Just 29 left to go

Lo and behold, a new poll from the AP has found that a whopping 71 percent of the American public now disapproves of how Shrub has handled Iraq! Maybe you better rethink that out-of-hand rejection of the Iraq Study Group's suggestion that you start pulling troops out and begin a dialogue with Syria and Iran, eh? Hm? How about it, Georgie? I'm not sure how long that last 29 percent can hang on, and I'm not sure you really want to go down in history as the president with the lowest approval rating of all time, do you?

Schmuck.

Go, piggy, go!

Here's another good reason not to move to Texas. It looks like Shrub's home state is still having trouble overcoming its bigotry. The latest example is a batch of yokel rednecks in a town called Katy, outside of Houston. These poor dumb bastards are all up in arms because a Muslim group purchased some land and (gasp!) wants to build a mosque!

What were they thinking?

From the AP:

Many neighborhood residents claim they have nothing against Muslims and are more concerned about property values, drainage and traffic.

But one resident has set up an anti-Islamic website with an odometer-like counter that keeps track of terrorist attacks since Sept. 11. A committee has formed to buy another property and offer to trade it for the Muslims' land. And next-door neighbor Craig Baker has threatened to race pigs on the edge of the property on the Muslim holy day. Muslims consider pigs unclean and do not eat pork.

Besides keeping track of the running total of post-Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, the Web site provides home addresses of some association members and advises people who see anything suspicious to contact the FBI. Many people have sent anti-Islamic e-mails to the site.

Cynthia Blackman wrote Radack that the center was a security risk: "Would you and your family safely and comfortably live next to this 11-acre Muslim mosque and facilities?"

The resident who's promised to start pig races, one Craig Baker, has apparently realized that his anger over what he thought was a Muslim attempt to take his land was erroneous, but has concluded that it's too late to pull back now, because "I would be like a total idiot if I didn't. I'd be the laughingstock now because I've gone too far."

I guess the bill of rights doesn't apply in shrub-country. Y'know, freedom of religion and all that jazz?

Up yours, Kofi Annan

This is actually a little old (about two months, to be exact), but since it flew pretty much under the radar, I figured it's still worth putting up. Here it is, kiddies, and don't forget, you heard it here last: Bush is prepping a new Guantanamo in Paraguay.

Yep, you read correctly. Wonkette put together a pretty damn good summary of what's going on, so I won't repeat it. Check it out, though. Scary, scary shit, what these fuckers are capable of.

God, I wish I was in the White House Press Corps so I could pester Shrub about this.

How Foxy

Oh, Rupert, you silly little bitch. I must congratulate you on your latest bit: Surrender Monkeys!

Yes, Rupert, we all are well aware of how you feel about anyone who suggests that a wise course of action may be finding a way OUT of Iraq, but still, to parody James Baker III and Lee Hamilton as monkeys is such fantastically elevated satire that I've been left speechless. Clearly, I see your point now. These pair of missing-link chimps are obviously trying to weaken our national defense by suggesting that what we're doing in Iraq isn't working! The pansies!

Never mind that the group's combined pedigree is enough to drive a dilettante into conniptons. Forget about the fact that Baker was the Secretary of State under Shrub's fucking FATHER. To hell with the death toll and ongoing violence in Iraq spawned by a war started by a petulant commander-in-chief who had no idea what kind of game he was playing.

But enough of my ranting. I know, it's quite tiring, and very little fun to read. Onward, then.

It apparently won't matter much anyway that Baker and other conservatives have begun calling for a new approach to Iraq, or that it's widely believed that the brand-spankin'-new Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, favors a course of action similar to what Baker's Iraq Study Group recommended: slowly withdrawing troops and actively engaging Iran and Syria in the rebuilding process. In fact, that perception is what drew two Republican votes from Gates' confirmation (though it passed easily enough without them).

But screw it all, says Shrub. He's not that interested in changing course, after all. Didn't we hear him say that enough times before the election? With two years to go, there's no good reason he'd pull an about-face now, except perhaps sanity.

And I wouldn't expect too much on that front.

So here's a bit of fun for everyone. Mary Cheney, that pockmark on the otherwise-perfect neoconservative image of our esteemed vice president, is pregnant! Woohoohoo! The lesbian neocon is breeding!

And nobody even knows how...

I'm reminded of Rosemary's Baby. Brrrrr.

Meanwhile, Canada once again has proved how it is far more civilized than the United States of Assholes.