The Final Frontier

Reagan had his Star Wars missile defense program, Bush has his space ownership claim. Yup. Can't you just see it? "I claim this space for Crawford!" Hoo-boy. But unfortunately, it's true. Shrub has just signed a new National Space Policy that rejects future arms-control agreements that might limit U.S. flexibility in space and asserts a right to deny access to space to anyone "hostile to U.S. interests."

Ha. Yeah. He's asserting our "right" to particular areas of the vacuum outside of our atmosphere. So what's next, rocket-propelled claim buoys for each millionaire with his own private spaceship? Hmmm?

Or perhaps just some good, old-fashioned shootouts. According to the Washington Post story (from which I got the above quote), the policy follows other administration statements that appeared to advocate greater military use of space.

Apparently what they've been talking about are potential weapons for protecting and harming satellites, the most common man-made space travelers. Such devices would be lasers that can "blind" or shut down adversary satellites and small, maneuverable satellites that could ram another satellite.

So that means we're going to have satellites playing chicken a few miles above our heads. That's great news, too.

Yeehaw.

On the terrestrial front, one rather amusing bit of political news is the campaign of Michele Bachmann, a Minnesota Republican who's running for Congress. Bachmann is one crazy ass honky, but she sure does love those fish and loaves.

Bachmann... told parishioners at the church on Saturday that God had called on her to run for Congress, according to a video of her appearance posted on YouTube by "Dump Bachmann Blog." She also said that God is now specifically focused on her race.

In her remarks, Bachmann said that she and her husband prayed and fasted for three days after God called upon her to run for Congress.

Bachmann said they asked God, "Lord, is this what you want? Is this your will?" On the afternoon of the second day, God "made that calling sure," she said.

Bachmann added that someone would have to be a fool to spend two years running for a seat that lasts just two years.

"You are now looking at a fool for Christ. This is a fool for Christ," she said to laughter and applause.

God, she said, "has focused like a laser beam in his reasoning on this race."

But that's not all. Thanks to Youtube and Wonkette, we've got some film of Bachmann telling the congregation how she's "hot for God."

This is great stuff, people. So good that it makes me want some fish and loaves. Extra tartar sauce, please.